A guide is one who has sufficient knowledge and experience to lead another down a given path. If you are a father, then you are the de facto guide in the lives of your children. This can be a harrowing thought. Here are a few tips for doing this well.
1 Find a guide for yourself
I remember when my wife was pregnant with our first child. At about the mid point of the pregnancy, I started to experience some intense anxiety about fatherhood. The fears and questions every man asks, “Can I provide for the family? Can I raise a child? What if something goes wrong? What if something happens to me?” I knew that these questions were normal, but I also knew I needed some help.
I found that help in conversations with a couple of men that I respected as fathers. Some of them twice my age with adult children of their own, some only a few years ahead of me on the path. Those conversations provided encouragement and a reminder that this is a natural part of the path and that I was not alone in the struggle. The guidance of those men has continued to be a blessing in my life.
2 Remember that guides lead
There’s a difference between pushing your children toward success and leading your children toward success. A father who pushes puts the child out front, prodding the child to go further and faster. While there are times where this may be appropriate, it’s not the ideal pattern.
Better is the father who leads by example. The father who leads goes before their child, giving his son or daughter a model of success to emulate. In this case, it’s the child reaching out to the father, as if to say, “bring me where you are.” If the father who pushes has his hand on the child’s back, the father who leads has his hand in his child’s hand, until they’re capable going on their own. This requires that you be present, active, and intentional in the lives of your children.
3 Find other guides
While you may be the primary guide in your child’s life, you haven’t mastered everything. Be on lookout for other people who will be a model for your children. Maybe they’re older children who are models of discipline or compassion. Maybe they’re coaches, or military veterans, or teachers. Even in this pursuit, you have the opportunity to guide your son or daughter through the process of identifying a good guide.
In matters of faith, introduce them to the saints, those who have given their lives as an example of faithful commitment to Christ. Remind them that they are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses (Heb 12:1) and not alone on the spiritual path. Heaven and earth overlap in the life of the church, and they have access to far greater resources than they may believe.
Fathers, guide your children along the path of life and lead them into eternity.
